Friday 11 December 2009

Merry Fucking Christmas


As I do every year, I'd like to wish everyone a Merry Fucking Christmas. The world's still the same big piece of shit it was last year, only more so. I'm going to attempt to ignore that for a week while I'm drinking myself into a coma on a beach in Thailand during the Christmas holidays. For those of you who cannot afford the luxury of a tropical island vacation, try and have yourself a merry little X-mas in your own way. Peace.

Wednesday 16 September 2009

Kanye West is a fucking douchbag.


I don't know what else there is to say about this moron that hasn't already been said this week. I would love if something like this could ruin his career, but people have very short memories and this just seems to be the way Americans are choosing to behave these days. Just look at Joe Wilson's outburst during Obama's speech (not a debate) last week. What a fucking redneck hillbilly, who unfortunately represents thousands of people who think his political grandstanding was justified because Americans, as I have mentioned before, are too stupid to understand the health care debate (racist screaming match). So fuck you Kanye. Fuck you and every other piece of shit child-mind who can't sit down and keep their big mouths shut while the adults are talking. Douchebag.

Monday 14 September 2009

I Fold.


I started playing Texas Hold-em poker on Facebook a few weeks ago, and quickly accumulated over $260,000 of imaginary money. It took hours and hours of sitting in front of my computer, playing hand after hand, and for really, no point whatsoever. I love the game, but I prefer to play it with friends in real life, sitting around having a few drinks, and generally being a social animal. So, after two or three weeks of it, I decided to give all the pretend money to a friend and remove the application, with the intention of trying to spend my recovered time on more worthwhile pursuits. To a certain extent, I feel like I've succeeded in that goal.

However, it just made me think about the millions of ways we are given to waste our time instead of doing things that would more productive. It's as though we're being presented with newer and shinier things, faster than we can get bored of the old ones, although we do get bored quickly of them. Facebook itself is an excellent example of time wasted, and the applications they offer, usually through third party creators, take us away from living real life, and eat away at the short time that we do have. Western governments love this shit. Why spend the time thinking about what's wrong with society, like why is your heart attack going to bankrupt your family, or why did the banks get bailed out again? They prefer you to spend your time conducting a mafia war in cyberspace, twittering to Ashton Kutcher, or creating cartoon pets. Most of these games and distractions are designed to have no end. They just keep going on and on and on, and then you're dead and you did nothing with your life. I don't want to end up on my death bed and be worried about what's going to happen to my pets in Pet Society. Neither should anyone else. Maybe the Luddites have it right. Technology is seriously mismanaged if it make us lose sight of the life we have, and leads us to focus on a life that we don't.

Thursday 3 September 2009

This is why we can't have nice stuff.....


Everytime I look at this picture, I chuckle at the idea of this poor mother screaming at her kids about something or other. Maybe they were fighting over the remote control. Maybe they were murdered by savages. Either way, life on Earth hasn't changed a whole hell of a lot.

Thursday 20 August 2009

Dreams and Nightmares


There are people and things that just never get out of your head, no matter how much time passes. God-damn it.

Wednesday 19 August 2009

The Party is Officially Over


Today is the last day of my vacation, so tomorrow I am back to work (not exactly as pictured, but close) and I won't have another long holiday until Christmas. I think I feel better than when I started my holiday, but it's hard to tell after having used my liver as a filter for about 30 bottles of vodka, quality hooch or otherwise. I expect further posts to grow steadily angrier and more bitter until Christmas, and I suspect there will be a huge outpouring of despair and misery when I turn 40 in September.

Monday 17 August 2009

Three Cheers for a Mutated Swine Flu


Over the past month or more I've had to watch these ridiculous town-hall meetings in the States where the American people have really shown themselves to be the complete fucking idiots they are. How utterly fucking dumb would you have to be to follow the likes of Glen Beck, Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh or anyone else on FOX that gets a daily soap-box on which to spew, not just lies, but dumb lies. Anyone with half a brain could see through the crap, but not most Americans, who believe in things like angels, aliens, and Jesus (less likely to have existed than the tooth fairy). But they stand up and scream, "Obama is turning my country into Russia. He's a socialist." If they weren't so god-damned fucking stupid, they would already realize that socialism already exists for the rich in America, hence the tax-payer bailout of the filthy banks and auto industries. The middle class and poor will never get rid of the boot of capitalism standing on their necks. They worry about the government running "death panels" deciding whether Grandma will get the help she needs, when the insurance companies they are fighting for already guarantee she won't. Partisan politics and racism towards a black president leaves the whole world tied to a dying empire sinking in quicksand. You'd think people who were smart enough to design missiles that fly down the chimneys of children's hospitals could get their heads out of their collective asses long enough to stop fighting about made up bullshit.

And the more I watch the 21st century turning into a de-enlightenment of sorts, the more I want to see every single human wiped off the face of the earth. What garbage the human race has turned out to be. Given all the resources and technology at our disposal to do good and help people, we have let a select few rule the roost. Those of us living in Oceania (read 1984) get to be distracted by the worst bullshit imaginable. American Idol, Paris Hilton, any reality television, FOX news, any news, beauty pageants, etc. Shit-coms are the worst. There is some funny TV out there (30 Rock, My Name is Earl, Flight of the Conchords), but mostly it's just the worst writing I've ever seen. One of my channels here runs something called Monday Night Laughs. The only thing they got right was that it's on Monday night. How I Met Your Mother, Kath and Kim , and Rita Rocks make me think there is a plot by the networks to make television so unwatchable, that people will only want the cheaper reality television that makes me want to shoot my TV in the face.

So what hope is there? The promise of a mutated swine flu (sorry...H1N1), an asteroid, global warming, earthquakes, zombies, 2012? Any one would be richly deserved, and I'm sure the cave dwelling survivors would immediately go to war over the right to the movie about the end of civilization once they reinvent film. Fuck you, America.

(Maybe I'd be in a better mood if unseasonably large storms in both Asia and the Americas hadn't cut me off from msn, facebook and several other websites I tend to frequent on a daily basis. I really need for this shit to get fixed)

Wednesday 29 July 2009

Tuesday 21 July 2009

Sunday 19 July 2009

The Eventual Murder-Suicide Will be Hillarious


There was an episode of the Simpsons a few years ago where Homer watched a TV cop show where the character had the same name as him and he became a minor local celebrity because of it. These jackasses (not exactly as pictured) take it to another level. If you click on the link, you'll see they kind of look like brother and sister, which makes it more creepy. I wonder if they'll name their kids with all the same name.

Saturday 18 July 2009

Are You Fucking Kidding Me?


For some reason, which I have yet to grasp, I like CSI Miami. I prefer the original CSI, because, while still highly implausible, it's got a bit more grounding in reality. CSI folks don't shoot criminals, they don't arrest people, they might not even really carry guns in the real world, but on TV they're like a SWAT team. I'm starting to think I like it because everything David Caruso says or does makes me cringe. His lines and delivery are completely ridiculous, to the point where you think the writers must be laughing themselves silly trying to come up with even more inane things for him to say. In the several seasons it's been on, his character has literally murdered a dozen people. Granted, they were criminals, but he's a complete sociopath. And what's the deal with him and kids? Anytime an episode has a small child in it, he sits down next to them and tries to comfort them, but again he delivers his lines like he's talking to a murder suspect. TV. Meh. You strange addictive bitch.

Wednesday 15 July 2009

My Vacation


I've been on holiday since Saturday, and I have done very little in terms of celebrating my temporary freedom from servitude. All of my close friends have left Hong Kong for their home countries, so it's been a little boring. There are still some distractions available to me, but they get quite tiring very quickly. So, now I'm trying to make a decision as to where to spend at least some of my time off. Some friends of mine have been asking me for awhile to come back to Taiwan and hang out with them for a few days, which I probably will do, but I'm not sure as to when. End of this month, maybe early August. I also want to go to Thailand for a few days to chill out at a beach resort. I've never been there, but everyone I know loves it, so it's a definite possibility. A little boring to travel on my own, but I'm sure I can find some form of entertainment in Thailand. After that, I think I'll head to a hotel in Macau for a few days, or maybe just a weekend. I'd like to spend some time at the casinos playing Texas Hold'em. Soon enough I'll be back in a classroom and waiting for the next holiday, just like every other teacher on the planet.

Editors note: I picked the slutty flight attendant pic for this posting because I couldn't find any other picture to encompass my feelings or intentions concerning my holiday. It's not a fetish of mine or anything like that - I've dated flight attendants, and the one thing they all had in common was their unending complaining about their jobs. Not very sexy.

Tuesday 7 July 2009

Who's Watching Me?


I can see you, Bunny.

Saturday 4 July 2009

Stupidstition


When I lived in Taiwan, there were certain days during the month when businesses and citizens would burn copious amounts of "ghost money", essentially monopoly type money, to appease ghosts and to give their departed family members cash for the afterlife. I dated a lot of women in Taiwan who were terrified of ghosts and thought they were everywhere. To me, it's a ridiculous idea, and not just because of the pollution it adds to the air by burning all that fake money. Superstition is simple ignorance.

Since moving to Hong Kong, things have gotten even weirder in terms of belief in the supernatural. Recently, there's been a huge trial over the estate of a dead billionairess, and whether or not the money should go to her feng shui "master", who by all accounts is a lying douchebag, and is claiming to have been her lover. Feng Shui masters actually encourage people to burn real money, and not just a little, to help increase their fortune. Chinese people don't seem to see the contradiction in this.

And now, there is a father searching for his missing 15 year old daughter, whom he says fell in love with a ghost during a seance and probably went to join him by drowning herself in the sea. The local papers report this as if it were something reasonable, rather than speaking out against the dangers inherent in such dangerous beliefs. Sadly, she probably did kill herself over this, and I'm just shaking my head at it all.

Thursday 25 June 2009

Where No Man Will Ever Go....Um...Before


Reality television makes me angry. Network executives have allowed what can be a worthwhile medium of expression to become completely devoid of creativity and artistic merit. There has been some brilliant television in the last 10 years, mostly from HBO and Showtime, but for the most part TV has stepped up to the podium and sadly accepted its long held designation as an idiot box, with reality TV being its most vapid and derivative product.

That being said, I am not interested in writing about reality television (today). What I am really interested in, is the type of TV I turn to in order to escape from the dregs of The Amazing race, Survivor, Jon and Kate Plus Eight, etc. I am a history and science junkie, and thanks to my cable provider, I have over 20 documentary channels to choose from. From ancient Rome to crocodiles biting the heads off of wildebeests, I am there. Unfortunately, there is also a genre of documentary programming that simply breaks my heart because it takes something which, while extremely interesting, is completely impossible, but dresses it up as scientific fact. It uses respected scientists, astronomers, astrophysicists, futurologists (sad) and their ilk, to validate the idea that one day, in the not too distant future, man will walk on, terraform, and inhabit Mars. Never going to happen.

The very idea, that humanity, such as it is, could get together and peacefully pool its resources for a journey, even just through our own solar system, is laughable. The United States, which is considered to be the leader in any kind of exploration of this nature, can't fix health care and refuses to acknowledge the true and damaging effects of global warming. Rather, people are fed the idea that by the time this planet is rendered completely unlivable, we'll just move everyone over to Mars. Never mind that there is no, and never will be, technology to allow any of this to happen. Even just sending a small crew of astronauts to Mars on a round trip, once around the planet for a few pictures, and then coming back, would see all of them dead from radiation poisoning before they were even a fraction of the way there. It's not possible for humans to travel in space. Now or ever.

Honestly, I don't even believe the Americans landed on the moon. I was born in 1969. Technology wasn't up to the task then, and it still isn't. The space shuttle only travels at a height of 300 kms above the Earth's surface, and everyone who goes up comes back feeling like crap, having quickly lost muscle mass and bone density in zero gravity. It would be wonderful if everything they suggested was possible (I love Star Trek as much as the next geek), but alas, it will never be. There is no profit to be had in pursuing the scientific exploration of space. Government won't fund it the way it needs to, and private business knows the truth of its futility. For better or worse (really, just worse), we are stuck on this ever darkening ball and we have travelled as far as we will ever go. Captain Kirk was wrong. Unless of course, they discover oil deposits on Mars.

Tuesday 23 June 2009

No We Can't


It feels a little appropriate to me that I have managed to secure a seat in one of the richest, greediest, most polluted cities in the world, from which to observe the collapse of civilization. I never felt my hometown actually reached the point of being completely civilized, so I'm glad I've picked a hilltop with a much better view of the cries and bawls of the moron empire, as it blindly stumbles, too intoxicated on reality TV and fast food to know what's happening to it.

In an earlier incarnation of this blog, I wrote that Obama, should he achieve the presidency, would never be able to fulfill the promises made during his campaign. At best, I hoped he would be no worse than Clinton, who was no less a lapdog of the rich, and proponent of American militaristic imperialism, than any republican president in the last 50 years. Sadly, Obama is even worse than Clinton; perhaps not in character, but certainly in action. The economy of the entire world is unfortunately tied to the U.S. markets, which produce nothing but debt. While this is a great benefit to a very few rich elite, it is an albatross around the necks of anyone who has to work for a living and isn't smart enough to realize that having 10 credit cards doesn't make you well off. And it is consideration for those ultra rich few, that will spell doom for civilization. Neither Obama, nor anyone else, will be able to repair the economy because those who were responsible for the crash, and those who should pay for it, will never be held accountable. The present administration is tied up trying to find a magic solution to the problem that doesn't inconvenience billionaires. The solution isn't there, but it doesn't matter. They will continue to look for it and continue to spiral ever downward into oblivion.

My biggest worry, however, is that there is a precedent that allows for global war to drag America out of depressions. Iraq and Afghanistan are not even close to being the kind of wars necessary to achieve this, allowing for only a few politically connected companies to reap profits through the blood of an uneducated, and mostly visible-minority military. America needs a World War II scenario, where it can mobilize the entire country against a common (perceived) enemy. September 11Th allowed the Bush administration to throw their constitution out the window because people were afraid, and if anyone stood up for their rights, they were called terrorists.

The question then, is how in a world of mutually assured destruction amongst the nuclear powers, can America have its global war? And against whom? Obviously, the last decade has seen western imperialism build up Islam as that enemy, and Islam has done nothing to counter this argument. Rather, Islamic elements have done everything they can to cement this perception in the western psyche. A possible scenario, which might allow the U.S. to have their war, is the formation of a league of Arab states, aligned against allowing the western world access to its oil supplies. There would be a lot of tribalism and old rivalries to overcome before this was possible, and they do have a habit of blowing themselves up to prove their point, but it's not inconceivable. Global bankers have been known to create the scenarios necessary for war in the past, and they most certainly will in the future if there is profit to be had. World War I, for example, would have ended a year earlier than it did if it wasn't for New York banking concerns funding the Bolshevik revolution to take the heat off of Germany's eastern front. This allowed for American and British companies to continue reaping profits from supplying weapons and material to both sides of the conflict. Human life is meaningless to big money.

And that brings us back to poor Obama. He may be much more erudite, and certainly more eloquent than his predecessor, but he is still answerable to the same group of bosses that most people don't seem to realize he has. Even his own party, which the media portrays as liberal and left-leaning, is actually center-right and beholden to big business. Suggestions of universal health care are met with cries of, "Socialism," and dismissed as being anti-capitalism. Both true, but not good arguments to not provide everyone with health care. Insurance companies have been brought before congress recently and refused to provide care to policy holders under any circumstances. In a better world these people would be thrown into prison with the same people who caused the financial collapse. In a perfect world they would be taken outside and shot.